Active Parents Are Active Listeners

Practicing in the Dallas area for more than two decades, Dr. Anne Georgulas serves as head of Dr. Anne Pediatrics. Her work with patients includes providing education to parents on a wide variety of topics of concern as their children grow up. Dr. Anne Georgulas emphasizes the value of open, empathetic communication as one of the key skills a parent can develop when raising a child.

One of the most meaningful things a parent can do is listen. This doesn’t mean distracted listening as you finish the dishes or an email. It means showing your child that you’re paying full attention, actively participating in the conversation, and respecting their feelings.

Active listening can be hard to do in this hectic world, especially if you’re not used to practicing it. But it is a skill that can be developed. Here are a few tips for doing so:

Stop, Think, and Really Listen

Stop what you’re doing, sit down, make eye contact, and show through your body language and facial expressions that you’re completely focused on your child, and that they matter to you.

Give and Take in the Conversation

Repeat back to your child what they’re telling you to make sure you understand. For young children, this can involve naming and validating the child’s feelings: “Your friend hit you and you’re really mad.” With older kids and teens, you might draw them out more while offering support: “I can see you’re feeling upset. Would you just like me to listen, or do you want my help?”

Don’t instantly swoop in to “fix” your child’s everyday problems. In addition, avoid asking them leading questions that imply you expect a “correct” answer. Acknowledge if you become distracted or don’t understand. Allow your child to lead the conversation and open yourself up to a true back-and-forth dialogue.

Communication Creates Strong Bonds

Your child may not even remember exactly what you talked about, but they’ll always remember your unconditional love and acceptance.